Note in a Christmas Card

Dear Friend,

I was so surprised to see you at the store the other day!  When I said you looked so good, you starting crying.  I didn’t know. I’m sorry. I remember when you got sick so many years ago, after all this time I just assumed you were better.  I didn’t know.  I remember that we used to talk on the phone a lot and when we would bump into each other at the grocery store we would stop and gab for a few minutes, and I remember those baseball games when the kids were little, it was always so hot!  I thought our lives had just changed because the kids grew up, I didn’t know what you were still going through.  Like the old saying…”out of sight, out of mind”, I guess.  Hadn’t seen you at church for a long time, but you told me it is hard to get ready and get there.  I didn’t know.  You told me you seldom drive or go anywhere.  You told me that both boys moved all the way to Denver, I didn’t know that.  I didn’t know you had to quit your job and you haven’t worked since 2001.  I didn’t realize you have been ill since 2001, how could that be?  After siting with you for a while I learned about your illness.  I didn’t know there was no cure.  I didn’t know how your illness has totally changed your life.  I didn’t know your husband works three jobs, I guess that’s why I never see him!  I didn’t know that most of your friends have stopped calling you, just like I did.  I admit that I stopped inviting you to things at my house because you often declined or cancelled last minute. I didn’t know you were that sick.  You look so good, like nothing in the world could be wrong.  I will never say that again to you.  Instead I will ask you if there is anything I can do for you. A ride to the doctor?  Pick up your prescription? Take the dog to the groomer or for a walk? Come over and watch TV and help you with your laundry? I am so so sorry, I just didn’t know.

Love, Carla

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9 thoughts on “Note in a Christmas Card

  1. Dear Mo / Carla,
    I know when you are hurting and you know when I am but even talking about doesn’t help much does it? We’re still waiting deep back in our old world for the magic pill that we used to have, the one we had called YOUTH. Now, we are alone even though we have our families, scattered here and there. Oh, Carla, I am where you are, Of course they love us but they don’t need us anymore, something that puts us in shock. It’s OUR in between time. YOU are needed by me and by your other friends. You sound just like my other friend, I would never give up on her. She’s a keeper, I just wish she would be able to talk about it more. But me? You can’t get rid of me that easily, nope. I’m here for you as always. We’re TWINS. You can’t get rid of me, won’t happen. Get out of your comfort zone and let’s fly…. Love, Twin.

  2. I hope whoever wrote this to you follows up on it and thank you to whoever wrote this for reminding me that what we see on people’s outsides is not necessarily what’s going on on their insides. I hope you’re doing well, Mo.

  3. This sounds like my life. But I know most of friends do know. And know we’ve moved away to a place where no one knows us. Well that’s not true, I actually have family here. and they know. But I haven’t heard from them…not once. But they know.
    I’d love to get a note like this, from someone who really just didn’t know….who really still cared….who would reach out.
    This warmed my heart.
    This year, I plan to reach out to others who need someone.
    I plan to fine a support system who are local.
    I plan to give more of myself.

    and I want to make sure and thank the people in my life who have been so very supportive of me.

    Thank you. Thank you so much for being there for me. I love you.

    • I did have this conversation with an old friend in the store. She was so supportive and honest with her thoughts and feelings I was floored. She didn’t write me a note, but she did leave a message on my answering machine to let me know that she was going to follow through on her promises. I hope she does and that we can reconnect.

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