How do I Deal With Transition?

Life is a series of transitions.  As a woman, I have transitioned from one role to another many times, sometimes willingly sometimes kicking and screaming.

  • Single Gal to married
  • no kids to being a Mom
  • no health problems to chronically ill
  • in charge of my life and family to dependent on everyone for help

But, my recent transition has really been the hardest.  Going from a  house full of family to an empty nest.

The empty nest syndrome……I am stuck.

A lot of women my age are dealing with the same feelings.  No one needs us anymore, no one is opening the fridge to see what there is to eat, no one is looking for clean socks. The house stays clean, the bananas go rotten, no one uses all the space on the DVR, and it is so quiet in the house.  I hate it.

Both my sons have moved to Colorado and I am still in Chicago, yes with my wonderful husband Joe, but I miss my kids.  I miss the electricity and excitement that entered the house with my son Dan.  I miss the long talks and the goofy laughter with my son Bill.  These boys took care of me and entertained me.  I lived through them for years.  What is more exciting that seeing your son on stage playing guitar in his band in a jam packed bar?  What could possibly be better than watching your son put on a uniform, go to work and drive a fire truck sirens blaring and lights ablaze?

Now I relish in their daily lives and accomplishments through facetime and facebook.  I am letting go a little more each day, and with each step I am kicking and screaming.  Every Mother goes through this……right?

The hardest transition of my life.

 

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8 thoughts on “How do I Deal With Transition?

  1. It was the hardest transition for me. I am still struggling and my kids have been out of the nest for a decade. I live in the suburbs west of Chicago and my kids live in PA. Thankfully the car almost knows the way and we can visit often. But the days you just have to stay in bed and recoup are hard for people to understand.

  2. Mo, you beat me to it, I have a blog post almost ready to go about the same exact thing.Something to the effect of I am Nobody. I am going through the same things you are, Twin, even though my kids are still in college. Even this is a hard phase, they come home because they have to, not want to. As for what Juditih said, I DON’T have the energy and I wish I did. I’d be able to do more. I’m in a Fibro Flare that I’ve never had before or something else is going on, don’t know howl long flares can take. Mine took a day or two before, this has been 4 weeks. I’m here twin, let’s talk more often. Love, L.

  3. Sounds like a tough transition. Hope it gets easier. Let me know if you join a motorcycle club. Make sure your helmet makes a statement about you!

  4. Motorcycles! great idea!
    here I was thinking about a dog.

    Of course, I can’t imagine what you are going through.
    It has always been just me, or me and roommates, or me and hubby.
    well, not really….I always had my Sandy dog…the house is pretty empty without her. Max the cat just isn’t the same. (I know not the same as an empty nest from children, but as close as I can come to understanding)
    After roommates, I loved just me, and cherish just me and hubby.

    We did have an exchange student, and were going to foster until I got too sick.

    Exchange students are pretty cool.

    Know I couldn’t do motorcycles with the balance issues, but would love to see you on one.

    “It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.” – Walt Disney

  5. I’m sure they do, all good mothers anyway. I’m not there yet, but know that someday it will happen and it will be so weird. It’s weird now, when they are both gone on the same weekend. I have 2 boys also. Both college age. The oldest was away at college for 3 years but came home every month or 2, but he’s been back home now for over a year, but plans to return to college after one more year. My youngest was away at college this year, but closer, so he was coming home every other weekend, and has decided to transfer next year to a college about 30 mins away, and will be living at home and commuting. I have friends who have gone through this already. One joined a motorcycle club to keep her occupied. Find something new to do to keep you busy that you will enjoy.

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