I’m That Lady You Hate to Drive Behind

I’m That Lady You Hate to Drive Behind


I’m THAT LADY.  I drive the speed limit.  I reduce my speed in school zones.  I stop completely at stop signs, and never blow through yellow lights.  I use my blinkers, and yes I probably leave them blinking for a mile or two after I’ve changed lanes.  I am polite and let other drivers merge when needed.  I don’t fight over parking spots in the mall lot and I never park illegally.  I don’t drive in the “go fast” lane while doing just the speed limit, and I don’t pass trucks on the right.  I don’t follow too closely.

I listen to the “oldies” station and sing along with both hands on the wheel. I do not text, tweet or talk on the phone while driving.  I haven’t had a traffic ticket since my teens, and have never been in an accident that I have caused.

I am a good driver.  I have little patience for crazy drivers who speed and switch lanes constantly.  I yell and swear at stupid people and I may or may not flip the bird occasionally.  YES, I am that driver you hate to drive behind.  I am that Senior Citizen Lady with the peace sign hanging from my mirror and the bumper sticker that reads “Woodstock Forever”.  Be afraid young driver…..I will make you late for school, I will make you mad because I am going the speed limit and you will speed up to pass me. But beware young stupid hot-headed driver…..you will eventually get stopped by the police and get a slew of tickets.  And I will happily drive on with my radio blasting and my turn signal blinking……still.

My Annual Christmas Post

My Annual Christmas Post

ma santaOur Family has a secret.  It’s a pretty big secret.  But I think it is time to tell.

You see, our Mother is Mrs. Santa Claus.  The real deal.

In the late 1960’s my Mom, dressed as Mrs. S.C, would go to the homes of her friends, the Ladies in her Womens’ Club, and hand out parent provided gifts.  It was very exciting for me because I was allowed to go a few times.  My SIS would drive and I would sit in the back seat in charge of the gifts.  As time went on  I was able to drive her around town, and eventually we took my kids for the excitement also.

At first , she had a simple red cape and a Santa hat, but as years went by her costume got fancier and fancier.  The current suit is  a red corduroy cape trimmed with fluffy white fleece.  Her floor length skirt was trimmed with fleece all around the bottom, with her little black boots sticking out.  White gloves and a perfect Santa hat on her head rounded out the look.

She loved children.  She had five of her own, and was a school librarian at the local School District.   She appeared at village functions, my kid’s preschool, and random houses of the children who saw her a child.  They had their own children and they wanted their kids to see Mrs. Santa Claus.

My Mother changed into another person when she put on the costume.  Her cheeks got rosy, she walked differently and she seemed to stand taller than her five feet.  Her smile was huge, her eyes twinkled and when she put on her hat….she was the real Mrs. Santa Claus. Her jingle bells announced her arrival to all that were waiting for her.  She just loved doing it.

When I first became sick in 2001, I missed a lot of things including the fun of Christmas, but I dragged myself downstairs one particular Christmas Day  because of my family’s pleas. Everybody opened all their gifts and oohed and ahhed.  Finally, I was given a big box and told to open it.  I tore off the paper and pulled all the tissue paper out of the box.  Inside was something I had been asking for years.

A professional portrait of Mrs. Santa Claus

We lost our Mrs. Santa in October 2010.  While clearing out her condo, we found the Mrs. Santa suit.  My SIS and I just sat there holding it.  It is packed away in a special box now.

This suit will become a family heirloom.  Missing you at Christmas Ma.