Twelve years ago this month I was diagnosed with a condition that would change my life completely. With a “diagnosis” everyone assumes there is a “cure” and that life will get back to normal eventually. But, that didn’t happen. I understand that I am very lucky that my condition is treatable. If I take care of myself, take my medications and see my doctors regularly this disease shouldn’t shorten my life.  But, it has changed my life.

I cannot get used to the fatigue.  Over powering fatigue.  Debilitating fatigue.  Can’t sit up fatigue.  So weak you hold your pee until it hurts fatigue because the bathroom is so far away.  Feel like you have the flu fatigue.  Miss every party and get together fatigue. Frustrating fatigue.  Hard to cope fatigue.  Impossible to explain fatigue.

Every night when I go to bed I think to myself that tomorrow I will feel better. Sometimes I do….and then I must remind myself to not overdo it…and if I do I will pay for it for days.

Happy anniversary.  I am having cake.