What? Me? Bitchy????

Last night I was attempting to find something on the Internet.  I was tired and getting confused.  I was frustrated.  After a while I started to swear at the computer, and my Hubby asked me if I was getting BITCHY?  (I thought….watch out…I’ll show you bitchy Buddy).  Later he apologized. I accepted.

But I realized that my many moods sometimes are misinterpreted by others, especially the fabulous Hubby.  Before I got sick I was very even-tempered and easy-going, but I know that my mood fluctuates now depending on how I am feeling.

Chronic illness is a pain in the ass.  I never know how I will feel when I wake up in the morning.  I can’t make plans because if I do, I might have to cancel.  I can’t go out shopping alone, what if I can’t drive home?  Shit, I can’t go anywhere alone because I might get lost.  No, I am not a hermit or loner, I am just not up to par most days.

As far as reading my moods, I have learned that I need to make things easier for people around me.  A frown or a growl doesn’t mean I want to bite your head off, it might mean I am nauseous and I’m afraid I am going to puke get sick.  Laying on the couch with my eyes closed doesn’t mean I am avoiding you, it might just mean I am really dizzy. Staying in my room under the covers doesn’t mean I am anti-social, it might mean I am just too sick to come out of my cocoon.   And yelling at the computer doesn’t mean I’m being bitchy, it might mean I am frustrated that I can’t think clearly through the brain fog.

Maybe I will make flash cards to hold up that will let anyone around me know my mood at the time.  I think that will work.  I will never be called “bitchy” because I have been in the bathroom all afternoon with a diarrhea fit or because my joints have been screaming at me all day.

Thank You for understanding.

5 responses

  1. I like the flash card idea; since sometimes the pain scale is “smiley” faces not looking very smiley. You could even take pictures of yourself in the various moods.
    If you decide to do this, let me know the outcome. I could use a few flash cards myself!
    Hope you don’t have a flash card day today.

  2. omg, I TOTALLY suffer from bitchy resting face! Soooo many times people ask me what’s wrong when nothing is wrong! I even try to put more of a smile on my face, but then my facial muscles get tired. Oh, it’s a plague. :-( <—— my normal face

    On a serious note, hugs to you dear, I'm so sorry you have to go thru all this.

  3. Oh my dera I’m bipolar and I’m moodier than I used to be. But we communaacate and make it better. I’ve leared some ASL signd for headache, dizzy, medicine, doctor, hungry…it saves me having to talk if I don’t want to. And we are learning ASL….slowly. it does help though.
    So flash cards graet idea! I need the sign for hormonal! Duck and coverr!

  4. Not sure that ‘s the right approach, you need to look at it from various view points. One could assume said bitchiness unless told otherwise. (we have every right) or instead of giving nice, gentle answers like you, you could say something to the effect of “You want bitchy, I’ll show you bitchy you motherf…..g bitch, go f..k yourself.” Clearly, a statement that will tell others how you feel. I prefer the expression “For F..ks Sake” charming and yet international. You don’t need to explain at all, a withering look will do just fine or hide under the blankets with a box of twinkies or the new/old chocolate cupcakes with the white squiggles. If you have not bought either please call me asap and I will send you some. This takes priority over everything. I will be home tomorrow and have my cell because I am nursing my cranky and hurting Jillian who is suffering from her impacted wisdom teeth being yanked out. Please, twin, allow me to do the honor, of giving you a little sweet joy in your bitchin’ life. Love, Laurie-Twin

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