Dear My Body…….

Dear Body,

You piss me off daily, you won’t allow me to participate in life.

You love to see me exhausted, weak and crying in my pillow.

Handful of pills and potions don’t affect you at all.

All the money that’s spent where do you think it comes from?

Doctors, and the E.R., tests and blood work, and  hospital stays.

Nurses and lab techs remembering me and my name.

I have to lay on the couch all day sometimes, I need to stay in bed way too often.

My back hurts, my muscles ache, my hands throb.

I get nauseas, I get diarrhea, I get horrific stomach cramps.

I can’t eat this, I can’t eat that, then you change your preferences.

You used to like this, you used to like that…what happened?

Back to cream of wheat, applesauce and bananas I guess.

Dizziness, foggy brain, falling, I can’t even think sometimes

Can’t drive, I’m too afraid and can’t go to the store alone.

I can’t go anywhere alone, so I stay home.

I don’t see my friends, my phone doesn’t ring anymore.

I’m so tired.  But it’s so much more than tired.

Sometimes I wake up and think I am fine…but you creep up on me when I’m not looking and pull the rug from under my feet.

You love to see me suffer…and you laugh.

And you don’t care.  You S.O.B.

 

(repost from a long time ago)

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7 thoughts on “Dear My Body…….

  1. You took the words right out of my mouth.
    My body hates me, I know it.
    I read every word you wrote, and thought…Yeah! That’s how I feel…especially lately.

    Thanks for putting it out there…and so poetically. When I talk about this I feel like I sound like I’m whining. This is just, fact!

  2. Sigh… This is a great post, but today is a yucky day. I thought I had read it before, and then saw that it’s a re-post, but I didn’t comment. Maybe I was having a bad day then too.

    big hugs to you,
    Hope you are healing from your fall 😦

  3. I am so sorry you have to deal with this crap. I wish I could somehow make you feel better. If you ever want to talk, or vent, or just rant about something, feel free to send me an email anytime. I hope 2013 is a better year for you, and for all of us.
    (((hugs)))

  4. I know i say this often, but I mean it: I can NOT imagine what you endure. Please know that this is not meant to minimize or discount your pain and experience.

    When I feel crappy – I do a meditation thanking the parts of me that are working silently – sometimes it’s just my earlobes, little toe and spleen. If I get mad at my body it gets mad back three-fold.
    .
    Actually Maureen what I’m saying is based on neuro-science, not psychology. “Angry” neurochemistry plays havoc at the cellular level. It’s not psychology it’s a neurochemical flood that gets triggered by what we consciously think and floods the cells.

    It won’t cure anything but reducing the neurochemistry of anger and fear as much as possible (chronic fight or flight) at least won’t heighten symptoms.

    With my deepest sympathy for what you endure daily, hourly. My heart goes out to you.
    j

  5. BREAK. MY. HEART. Oh Mo, I hate to see you and hear you suffering. It makes me feel miserable and you deserve so much better. I will call you again (did you get my message?) be good to yourself. We care, all your friends and your family. We love you. So it’s bananas and cream of wheat, you are alive and you have your family and friends. don’t give up HOPE. You’ll see 2013 will be better.x0x0 Laurie and I will give up pizza and jelly for you.

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