A Little Nervous I Must Admit

Terrible day. The Crohn’s monsters hit me hard today.  Sons-a-bitches.  Running to the bathroom, never making it in time, getting more upset every time.  I will not elaborate on scrubbing bubbles, bleach wipes, emergency loads of laundry, showers and crying.  The Joe-Man came home to check on me, Bill brought Gatorade for me after work, and Dan has been monitoring my blood pressure.  I was successful at giving myself a shot, so glad I had one here, it kept me out of the ER for sure.

I called my handsome Gastro doc, and I have an appointment on Feb 7th.  The nurse wants me to call tomorrow and check in.  Terrible day.

doc

 

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I fell down…………..BOOM

Yesterday I was putting clean sheets on the bed and somehow got my feet all mixed up and I fell.  Well, really I just kind of   s l i p p e d   off my feet onto my ass.  So, there are am sprawled out on the floor checking myself for blood or bones sticking out somewhere and I found nothing horrible.  And, yes I had my phone on my pocket so if I had needed to cal anyone I could have.  I really thought I had broken my arm because it hurt so much and it bruised quickly.  I slammed my arm into the bed frame on my graceful descent to the floor but better my arm than my head I guess.

Today I am a black and blue mess and I hurt all over.  I ate frozen pizza for dinner because I feel sorry for myself.    I.AM.A.KLUTZ.

Dear My Body…….

Dear Body,

You piss me off daily, you won’t allow me to participate in life.

You love to see me exhausted, weak and crying in my pillow.

Handful of pills and potions don’t affect you at all.

All the money that’s spent where do you think it comes from?

Doctors, and the E.R., tests and blood work, and  hospital stays.

Nurses and lab techs remembering me and my name.

I have to lay on the couch all day sometimes, I need to stay in bed way too often.

My back hurts, my muscles ache, my hands throb.

I get nauseas, I get diarrhea, I get horrific stomach cramps.

I can’t eat this, I can’t eat that, then you change your preferences.

You used to like this, you used to like that…what happened?

Back to cream of wheat, applesauce and bananas I guess.

Dizziness, foggy brain, falling, I can’t even think sometimes

Can’t drive, I’m too afraid and can’t go to the store alone.

I can’t go anywhere alone, so I stay home.

I don’t see my friends, my phone doesn’t ring anymore.

I’m so tired.  But it’s so much more than tired.

Sometimes I wake up and think I am fine…but you creep up on me when I’m not looking and pull the rug from under my feet.

You love to see me suffer…and you laugh.

And you don’t care.  You S.O.B.

 

(repost from a long time ago)