How I feel today

Third day in a row that I feel like shit.  The heat is probably the culprit, even though I am inside in the A/C.  I am nauseous and crabby and all I want to do is sleep. 

I have been having nightmares the past few nights that wake me up all discombobulated, (I love that word).  There have been a rash of burglaries in our neighborhood and I dream I hear people walking around our house downstairs.  I try screaming to wake up Joe, and of course no sound comes out of my mouth.  Another night I dreamt I had the bad guys laying on the living room floor with a gun aimed at their pointy little heads.  Very uncharacteristic for me.

Joe is preparing for a two-week trip out west hiking and working.  He will be doing some community service at Philmont Scout Ranch in New Mexico at the end of September.  He will be part of a crew working on the trails and doing general repairs and much-needed maintenance.  After he is finished with that he will be traveling to the Grand Canyon to take part in a backpacking tour with the company he works for part-time.  His dream is to retire from his “real” job and work full-time for REI.  He teaches programs in their outdoor education programs as an instructor for backpacking, outdoor cooking, GPS navigation, compass orientation and hiking.  He also works in the retail store helping customers with correct fitting of backpacks and how to correctly outfit yourself for different outdoor sports and activities.  He loves it as he is quite an “outdoorsy” kind of guy.  Completely opposite of me.  Give me a bed an air conditioner and room service thank you very much.

The Joe-Man somewhere out in the woods…this is what he calls fun.



9 thoughts on “How I feel today

  1. Sorry you feel so crappy! Nightmares are scary — especially those where you try to scream and nothing comes out — I have ones where I try to scream “call 911” and, of course, nothing emerges. I image the breakins and Joe’s trip might be contributing factors to your nightmares. Hope they go away.
    discombobulated is a great word, and does describe that state of being really disorientated so well.
    Hope you feel at least a little bit better soon. Take good care.

    • I am so behind on my blogs and replying to my comments….so sorry! To tell you the truth the burlgaries don’t scare me, I am ridicously confident in my goofy dog to alert me to anything sinister approaching my house! Having worked for the police for ao long I do understand how these “bad guys” work. They are daytime burglars that only enter once they know that no one is at home. Sorry if I made it sound like I was afraid….I’m really not. My crazy dream of catching them and throwing them to the ground is a result of my childhood fantasies of becoming a Girl from U.N.C.L.E. Not to worry dear Phylor. I will only hunt down bad guys in my dreams….not realy life!

      • I remember the girl from U.N.C.L.E. — hadn’t thought about the show in years! METV only shows the “old stuff” and I’ve been watching (too much) a lot of old memories, and shows that were on when we didn’t have tv or live close enough to the US border to pick up the signals.
        Some stuff weathers time better than others! Don’t sweat about being behind. I have most blog posting notifications set as weekly digests, and even then, don’t always read or comment. Just happened to come back to this one, and the girl from uncle got me thinking.
        Glad you have a goofy dog alarm system, and a good understanding of how these folks operate.

  2. I’m sorry you have been feeling like shit. I relate. I don’t think it’s the heat with me…maybe, mostly recovering from surgery…but it’s taking longer than it should. (always with me.)
    I feel discombobulated a lot too.
    Yesterday I woke up and yelled for Stuart. I was terrified. But I had no idea why. I can usually remember my dreams but not this time, I just had the fear left over. That will shake up your day.

    We had a rash of break-ins in our neighborhood a little while back, luckily they always hit homes where no one was home. But it was scary. Especially since a double murder happened about a mile from our neighborhood around the same time. (unrelated, but dang, too close to home!)
    So the whole neighborhood was jumpy for a while. We noticed everything, and everyone in the neighborhood. If we didn’t know someone walking around, we asked…or called the police.
    We leave our outside lights on all the time…the whole neighborhood does, so we can see if someone is walking around behind the houses. We keep a car in the driveway. It always looks like someone is home here…and there usually is.
    I hope you can feel better about things.
    I’d be so afraid if Stuart was going to be gone that long.

    But he’d love it. I used to love the outdoors, hiking, camping…..ect. Not any more. My poor body can’t handle it. But hubby, he’s been on archeological digs, and would love for that to be his real job. Actually, I think he’d be happy working in any field where he could be out and about, and use his body not just his mind. (but then sometimes I wonder how fast the novelty of that would wear off when the weather is bad for a long time….ect.)

    Take care of you any way you can…even if it means pointing that gun at their pointy little heads.
    That would be hard for me too…but then I don’t own a gun!

    I hope you don’t feel like shit much longer. : )

  3. Sorry to hear you’re going through a rough patch. I’ve been stuck in the same groggy place, and waking up in the night sure doesn’t help. I haven’t been having nightmares, but I’ve started talking in my sleep and waking myself up 3-4 times a night. I’m on the mend now, and I hope you will be too, soon. 🙂

  4. Mo – I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling bad. I’m with you on the feeling like SHIT. There’s no other way to put it. I’ve been going through very stressful times in my personal life and with Addison’s, it’s been too much for me to battle, day by day, without feeling blanketed by feeling sick. I hate it. Before Addison’s, something bad would happen and I’d come up swinging and know that living well was the best way to prove you will keep going — keep going strong. Well, it’s hard to make that point when your body is far behind your mind and you’re yelling, “Catch up dammit!”

    Anyway, I’ve learned that if I need an afternoon to be tucked beneath the blankets and to let my body endure the added stress with gentleness from me instead of me mentally beating up myself for having a condition that makes fighting back a bit more different…I just let it rest and try to give it a chance to be better.

    I’ve learned, with this condition, if you fight too much against how you feel, it can very well end up getting sucked into a drain. I’d rather take it easy and tread around the edges than be pulled under. We do what it takes to keep surviving. It’s unimaginable to people who don’t suffer “brittle” condition with Addison’s. Of course, there are other diseases that can cause weakness…Parkinsons, M.S. and such, but even those diseases are still misunderstood by many people because the concept of the disease itself seems unacceptable. Well, I agree. However, the reality is that you face a condition and the way it changes your life or you drown in denial.

    As for your dreams, I usually have nightmares when I’m feeling particularly foul. I’m sorry you have these haunting you with the neighborhood troubles. My grandmother always had bells hanging above the doors, etc., so that they made a terrible racket when the door was opened. Radio Shack sells these little contraptions for apartment dwellers mostly, but they are high decibel alarms that go on windows and doors.

    And your husband sounds like he does have a dream job. To be in nature, to know about things that people are trying to learn more and more these days…it is awesome! His travels are likely adding to your anxiety. I’ll be checking in with you more!!! Hang in there. But, if needed, stick that gun at their pointy little heads!!


  5. Congrats to Joe. But, I am with you, I will be needing the hotel room, comfy bed and air conditioning. Sending good thoughts your way.

  6. I used to do those types of things, back when I was a healthier me. Nowadays I’m lucky if I can walk to the end of the sidewalk and back. I miss being outdoors more. That’s the whole reason I got into taking nature photos – to take it back inside with me for when I can’t get out at all. 😉

    I am so sorry you are feeling bad. The past couple of days have been harder on me too. It seems like everyone that I know with a chronic health condition is suffering with this weather. The heat is really hard on some of us. Even with the AC on, the house is hot, I think, on days like these.

    At this point with all the storms and power outages and fears of more outages, (as I sit here with the lights flickering and the thunder booming tonight) I was thinking, I am ready for winter!

    I hope we all feel better soon!

  7. How do you spell “postpone trip till the bad guys are caught and are in jail?” Don’t understand the outdoorsy types myself. Give me a hotel (maybe you should move into one if you can’t guilt him into staying home) room service, a movie or two and strong hot coffee. I’ll be just fine. Is someone staying with you? Your boys? Make them do it!!!! Love, Twin

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