I Give Up

Haven’t had a decent day since Christmas, and then yesterday I woke up with swollen glands, a sore throat and a stuffy head.  Still fell shitty today but no fever, and I don’t feel worse than yesterday so I will try and ride it out.  If I start running a temp or feel this move to my chest then I will go see my doctor.

I really thought that the cooler temperatures would bring me relief, and it has, but I am unrealistic in thinking that I would feel 100%.   My muscle discomfort has been increasing on some days, but I can certainly live with it.  It’s the Addison symptoms that are pulling me down.   

Next appontment with endo is at the beginning of March.  I will talk to her about vitamin B-12 levels and my enlarged red blood cells.  The possibility of Pernicious anemia is ever present because of my history of Addison’s, Crohn’s, bowel surgery and some of my meds. Autoimmune monsters working all the time, they need to take a vacation.  We believe that my Father had it, and that increases my chances.  A doctor at Univ of Chicago Hospital told me once that I didn’t have PA then, but I will get it eventually.  Way to make a patient feel better huh?  (You feel like shit now Lady…but it is gonna get way worse).

I want my neurologist to do some more testing to see if I really have a seizure disorder.  This was diagnosed only through an EEG, as I never had symptoms of recall having a seizure.  The diagnosis has always been a mystery to me, and I just want him to run some tests again.  I hate the medication…it is expensive and has too many side effects. 

At my last endo visit I talked to her about starting Armour instead of levothyroxine for my hypothyroid.  She was against it, but I will tell her I really want to experiment with it.  Everyone I know that has taken Armour…including my Hasimoto-Sister, says they feel much better when they are on it.  We shall see.

This was the second Christmas without my Mom.  Her empty chair at the dining room table seemed to affect us all.  One of my Sister’s friends told her that after the third Christmas it gets easier.  Hmmm.

My “so-called” resolutions for 2012 are to:

  • Drink less Diet Pepsi, and more water.  Sounds easy enough. 
  • Resolve the seizure and Pernicious Anemia questions
  • Get some peace back in my life by resolving some family stuff
  • Blog more (This is on every blogger’s list of resolutions)
  • AND…rid my house, basement, garage, and storage locker of STUFF, JUNK and CRAP  *The men in  this house have a problem*

I am going to take a nap now.

  • mo

13 thoughts on “I Give Up

  1. I hope you are feeling better!
    I had a huge Diet Coke addiction for a long time. I wrote a very funny blog entry about it on my cooking blog a long time ago. http://wendycooks.wordpress.com/2010/03/29/a-confession-i-am-a-diet-coke-addict-help-me/
    You may get a chuckle.

    I’m proud to say, I’m off of it. First I started by making sure I drank twice as much water for every oz of Diet Coke I drank. Then I would only have one if I was out, never brought it home. I started drinking tea (I actually like it unsweetened and decaffeinated) sometimes I’ll have citrus tea, and I drink a lot of water.
    Every once in a while…especially if I have post nasal drip, I’ll want a bubbly Diet Coke, so I would think…if this is the worst thing I do….and have one…and my stomach would ache so much.

    I can’t tolerate soda now, I get the worst stomach ache.

    Hubby, still drinks tons of diet sodas…any kind, what ever’s on sale. He prefer’s if he can find them sweetened with Splenda…but he’ll drink any…can’t get the man to drink water unless he’s very hot after working in the yard, then he’ll drink water. sigh.

    I can’t even have Splenda, it has something that does not agree with the Fructose Intolerance…no Splenda. No…lot’s and lot’s of things. again..sigh. But I’m determined to learn more and make the most out of it!

    Good “resolutions” Take care of you!!!

    (and never worry if you can’t comment on my blog(s), even if you miss a post, I’m not offended. I do read all of yours but sometimes I don’t get to commenting…doesn’t mean I love you less!)


      • glad you liked that post. It’s one of my first, baring your soul to the world, post. hahaha

        I do know just how you feel, but take heart my friend, it can be over come.
        I’ll be your sponsor if you need. : )

        (I will admit every once in a while, I still want a one. Hubby still drinks it, so I’ll take a swallow of his, and I’m alright….usually.)

        I haven’t had a drink in…quite a few months! hey, something to be proud of.

        Funny thing, I always thought aspartame was an evil ingredient I needed to stay away from, and maybe it is, but after find out I’m fructose intolerant, it’s the Splenda I have to be on the watch for! I used to consume that instead of sugar or other sweeteners…but it’s evil…very evil to my body!

        good luck!!

  2. Ah, Mo, I’m sorry you’ve been feeling so yucky. And that the weather change wasn’t a miracle cure. I do that too — get it in my head that “I’ll fee better when …” and then I feel worse when I still feel yucky. 😦

  3. Hope you get feeling better! I was thinking of you over the holidays, and wondered how you were coping with the loss of your mom over Christmas.
    Good luck with your resolutions.
    “rid my house, basement, garage, and storage locker of STUFF, JUNK and CRAP *The men in this house have a problem*”
    Despite my many b******gs about having to clean out my mother’s house, I usually do feel bettter after I “get rid” of stuff — every now and then I just do it — clean out my drawers, (I’m in the process of donating arts and crafts supplies I’ll never get around to using to a local woman’s shelter for their in-house art therapy program), fill garbage bags, and feel somehow lighter — physically, mentally, emotionally.
    Hubby would never admit to being a bit of a horder — luckily we’ve never had enough room for him to accumulate too much stuff (most of it stuff he’s found, bits and pieces left over from some project that might be needed again) — in other words, he can find it hard to throw things out. I stopped even trying to dust any of his piles/book shelves — just too much stuff to move around!
    When he was helping with the clearing out of Mom’s house, I gave him specific tasks — go through the stuff of yours that’s stored here then go through the hardware, tools, etc. that mom had around. He behaved himself quite well — I’m the one who filled up the storage locker with boxes of stuff because I no longer could distinguish between what to keep, sell, donate, throw out! It will be interesting to see how it goes when/if he and I go through the locker boxes!

    • Lorraine, The Guy that first thought up opening a storage locker business was a very smart guy (or gal). We have one and I hate it. You would think that with a storge locker my house would have no clutter/crap/junk but of course moving all your “stuff” to storage just leaves empty space for new and improved crap to move in. I agree with you…when you fill up a gargabe bag or a box to donate or throw out you do feel lighter. I fantasize abot getting a dumpster and throwing everything O U T !!!

  4. Hi Maureen,
    Thank you so much for leaving your comments on my HypoGal web site. Much appreciated- you so understand the life that I am living. Thank you for creating awareness. I also really like your blog- very honest.
    All My Best!

    • Thanks Lisa, Glad I found you because you made me understand that us secondaries sometimes don’t always follow all the “rules”. When my endo mentioned trying florinef next summer I couldn’t believe it. I thought she was grasping at straws, but then you mentioned that you take it sometimes. Shows that you can always learn something and again that we are all different. I like your blog too!

  5. HI Mo,
    I went from drinking Sprite to drinking diet Ginger Ale (YUCK) I’ve always HATED the taste of diet soda. After being dx with diabetes I had to give up the soda. I started looking into Stevia. Bought some Stevia soda in several flavors, which were pretty good but too expensive (for me) to buy as a daily drink. I went with the stevia flavored powders. Grape,lemon-lime & liquid ones like Lemon, Valencia orange, cinnamon,vanilla–even a hot chocolate powder made with stevia. daily I drink decaf. “sweet” tea made with stevia powder ( I live in Georgia after all …STM).
    I restarted drinking diet ginger ale cut with cranberry juice this summer when I had a UTI. Because of the diabetes I couldn’t drink the cranberry straight (guess I could’ve drank the diet but I liked the mix) I had to ween myself OFF the diet soda AGAIN.
    Those artificial sweeteners really are bad for you and the way I see it I already have ENOUGH health problems—AI/AD, Diabetes, Asthma,Chronic Restrictive Lung disease, oxygen dependent, chronic pain issues,gerd,severe sleep apnea,–maybe more just can’t think of them right now…..BUT artificial sweeteners also effect muscles (or so I’ve read) and I definitely don’t need any more muscle issues can’ t count on what I have left,really can NOT afford to loose anymore.
    OK getting off my soap box now.
    I sometimes look at it as I have given up so much already but diet soda really was never a real choice for me, I tolerated it but I never really enjoyed any of it. I do like *my sweet tea–had to play with the amounts of stevia till I found the taste of sweet tea that I enjoyed & I have found it.
    try ordering some of the flavored stevia–you just have to adjust amounts till you find the right mix for *you*–

  6. Mo, With all my aches and pains I really can’t begin to even imagine what your go through.
    And the looming “cold” is adding insult to injury.
    It does sound like you are on track taking care of yourself
    EXCEPT for drinking diet coke. Stop drinking that poison! The aspartame is the WORST.
    Sending love with my yelling.

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