My Stupid Body (A repost from Addison Girl)

Dear Body,

You piss me off daily, you won’t allow me to participate in life.

You love to see me exhausted, weak and crying in my pillow.

Handful of pills and potions don’t affect you at all.

All the money that’s spent where do you think it comes from?

Doctors, and the E.R., tests and blood work, and  hospital stays.

Nurses and lab techs remembering me and my name.

I have to lay on the couch all day sometimes, I need to stay in bed way too often.

My back hurts, my muscles ache, my hands throb.

I get nauseas, I get diarrhea, I get horrific stomach cramps.

I can’t eat this, I can’t eat that, then you change your preferences.

You used to like this, you used to like that…what happened?

Back to cream of wheat, applesauce and bananas I guess.

Dizziness, foggy brain, falling, I can’t even think sometimes

Can’t drive, I’m too afraid and can’t go to the store alone.

I can’t go anywhere alone, so I stay home.

I don’t see my friends, my phone doesn’t ring anymore.

I’m so tired.  But it’s so much more than tired.

Sometimes I wake up and think I am fine…but you creep up on me when I’m not looking and pull the rug from under my feet.

You love to see me suffer…and you laugh.

And you don’t care.  You S.O.B.

Are you Tired?

How many different kinds of “tired” are there? 

There is the tired you feel after a good day’s work and a filling dinner.  You settle into your bed, comfortable and content, close your eyes and drift off to sleep.

There is the tired you feel after physical work or exercise.  A long hot bath, some Tylenol or a glass of wine helps.  You go to bed a little sore but knowing you will feel better in the morning.  You sleep sound, feeling good about all you accomplished that day. 

There is the tired you feel after chasing your kids all day.  A full day of play followed by baths, bedtime snacks and good night kisses.  You fall in bed, exhausted but happy.

Then there is the tired you feel with chronic illness and chronic pain.  Exhaustion from burned out adrenals.  Drained by the complications of CFS or ME.  Weary from the back pain you had to endure all day. Worn out from the ringing in your ears that won’t allow you to rest. Fatigue from the migraine that won’t let up.  Weak from arthritis pain that prevented you from walking that day. 

We try everything.  Pills, potions, heating pads, massage, chiropractors, changes in diet, supplements and rest.  But not everything works for everybody.  Something that worked today, most likely won’t help you next week.   I would gladly attempt voodoo if I knew how to do that voodoo!!

So, next time someone asks you why you are tired all the time, or when your Doctor says he doesn’t know why you are so exhausted…just smile.  No one will ever understand.  

TSH?

I am at my nerve’s end with all of this.  I had labs done and talked to my GP at the beginning of last week.    Negative for RA, sugar is OK,  potassium and sodium still good.  Nothing really to help explain the unrelenting fatigue and weakness…EXCEPT…my TSH is low at .096.   Now, I must admit I don’t know much about the thyroid, even though I have been on meds for quite a while.  Everything has always been fine, take my cute little green pill and worry only about my cortisol levels.  (GP did tell me that normal range is 0.5 – 5.0, so my numbers do sound low.???)  BUT if I am indeed hyperthyroid, I am showing none of the classic symptoms.  I have lost my appetite and some weight, which has made me happy, but not if it is caused by over active thyroid. 

And even though my labs showed no infections, bladder or UTI etc, I am running a low-grade fever on and off.  Usually about 99.3 – 99.5. 

So, my GP sent a FAX to my endo and I expect to hear from her (hopefully) by Monday.   

My sleep has been totally screwed up, trouble falling asleep at night, and trouble staying asleep at night.  That’s a given with chronic illness I know, I see quite a few of my buddies on-line in the middle of the night.

Let’s hope Dr. Endo-Girl comes up with something……………sigh.

Some Old Posts

I’ve decided to repost some of my old posts from “The Addison Girl”.  If you’ve already read them….thank you.  If you didn’t, that’s why I put them here.  They are some of my favorites.

Thanks for reading!

 

Which is Worse?

=====================================================

My arch enemies Mr. Addison and Mr. Crohns have been plaguing my life for a couple of weeks now.  I don’t know who I hate more, it might be a tie.  Them sons-a-bitches.

This is what I imagine is going on in my stomach and bowels when I am having a bad bathroom day.  They won’t slow down, they won’t stop.

 

Now, that other lurking S.O.B. Addison that shows up almost everyday.

It sucks any and all energy in my body 

I sleep too much

And I generally feel like crap

 

 I want a magic pill…please

The End 

Complaining

===================================================

Had a visit with my endocrinologist last week and walked out with a big question mark above my head.  This woman is the only doctor I’ve seen that knows anything about adrenal insufficiency, and she’s always answered all my questions and explains things perfectly.  After ten years, she is frustrated because she just can’t figure out what happened to cause my pituitary to fail.  I did use steroid nasal spray before diagnosis, but she feels that my adrenals would have started to function after about eighteen months off the spray…they haven’t.  I don’t remember exactly how long I used the nasal spray, a few months maybe, but that is the only steroid I ever was exposed to. 

She increased my synthroid a bit and I’m hoping that might help with my fatigue.  My DHEA level was good, and I just increased my dose from 12.5 mg per day to 25 mg daily.  My levels were low at the last appointment.  So that’s all good now.

Why doesn’t someone come up with a medication to jump-start your pituitary for us secondaries?

Oh, and listen to this one.  I went to a new therapist who really thinks that if I eat more protein with my breakfast I won’t get so tired during the day!  I wanted to smack her right in the kisser….but I didn’t.