There are days I don’t get out of bed because I am just too tired.
There are days I don’t leave my room because downstairs is just too far away.
There are days I don’t leave the house because it is just too hot outside.
There are days I don’t take a shower because I know it will exhaust me.
There are days I can’t find the energy to cook dinner, thanks goodness for frozen pizza.
There are days when I won’t answer the phone, I just don’t want to talk to anyone.
There are days that I look at the messy family room and just turn around and go back upstairs.
There are days that I wonder what things would be like if I had never gotten sick.
I can honestly say I do every single thing on your list too.
and you know sometimes, I don’t even try…..sometimes, I think if I try, I might fail, then I’ll be worse. Or sometimes I even think….why should I?
I don’t wonder what it would be like if I’d never gotten sick. I’ve been sick most of my life. But I do wonder what it would be like to be well. And there have been times when I’ve been better than now…I do think sometimes…what if I hadn’t gotten this bad.
But I like me more now I think. Not that I can’t do more….not the days I don’t even want to try…but the fact that I can admit that! The fact that I have more tolerance…and I thought I was pretty darn tolerant. The fact that I know how to be a better friend, and how to choose better friends. And one more…I love the fact that even though I’m sicker…my husband loves me more…every day. (even on the days, I just wonder why.)
I hope your hopes can become realities soon.
hugs to you.
w
Sending hugs to you. I hope you soon have better days.
Maureen, I KNOW exactly how you feel. I often long for the days when I didn’t feel pain all the time. When I go to bed at night, before I close my eyes, I HOPE that tomorrow I’ll wake up and feel better, with no pain. But tomorrow comes and with it, the same darn pain I had the day before and the day before that and…
and so it goes…on and on…
I’m sorry you are going through this. I wish so much that I could wave a magic wand and you would feel well again. I wish it for me too.
Gentle ((YOU))
The last line and the picture are SOOO true of chronic illness and chronic pain!
Hope you have a better day soon.
Mo,
I couldn’t have said it better myself. I agree 100%. As usual, thanks for so eloquently stating what so many of us try to survive with.
Vicky
Wish there were the right words to say, but I’m afraid they would all sound clique — so just ((((hugs)))))
I know that feel, bro.
Mo, we all have those horrible days and I hope some good days will find you SOON. I am actually working on a blog post pretty much saying similar things. Walk when you can, talk when you feel like it, rest and be good to yourself. If you ever do want to talk, I am only a phone call away. Hugs to my twin. Love, Laurie